


Live and Die

by JessBakesCakes



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessBakesCakes/pseuds/JessBakesCakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny struggles with her identity and her feelings for Billy. An alternate perspective and some unseen moments of the Sing Along Blog we all know and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live and Die

**Author's Note:**

  * For [astrokath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrokath/gifts).



> For astrokath! Your prompts were great and really inspired me to give a new dimension to some of my favorite Whedon stuff. I hope I did him justice. I want to also give a shout-out to my beta, who had no idea what fanfiction was until I told him about this story... he gave me some great ideas and brainstorming sessions, and I can't thank him enough!

Penny tossed her purse and clipboard aside immediately after entering the basement of her condo.  One flip of the light switch started the whirring and beeping of machines stationed around the room. She tied her hair back and peeled off her cardigan, considering dropping it right where she stood, but neatly folded it and placed it on the table instead.  As unfortunate of a fashion choice as it was for her alter ego, she was starting to grow fond of the sweaters.  Sure, they were itchy sometimes, and she was never sure whether another layer would help or harm the temperature situation, but she was just starting to figure out the right color palette for her complexion.

 

This wasn’t something she had always cared about.  By the time she was ten, she had already been to six Q&A panels held by the Henchmen’s Union.  At thirteen, she attempted her first crime, and by sixteen, she’d earned a scholarship to attend the Evil League of Evil School for Gifted Teens.  This… life, this façade of caring that was slowly turning into actual caring… this was not the plan. 

 

It was all because of her inability to empty change from the pockets of her uniform.  She heard the clanking in the washer, and didn’t think anything of it, until it stopped short and nearly caught fire.  What else was she to do with soapy clothes and a basket full of uniforms that needed to be washed?

 

She saw him in the Laundromat for the first time that day.  He was a little fidgety.  Nervous.  Twitchy, if you will.  But it was sort of endearing.  Penny could spot the type anywhere.  The, “I’m reading the handbook of the ELE, but I’m going to cover it with Sports Illustrated so I don’t thwart any potential plans I may come up with but haven’t yet” guy.  He was green.  But he was cute.

 

So, after a bit of research, she found him.  Dr. Horrible.  It wasn’t the greatest name (not like thirteen year old Penny Pincher had any bright ideas either), but she was willing to overlook that.  She watched each installment of his video blog.  His plans were complicated.  Not in a good way, though.  It was like when someone thought being good at karaoke meant that they should try out for one of those TV talent shows with an angry judge.  He still had so much learning to do.

 

She dragged a nearby stool toward the computer, ready to tune in to this week’s installment of the blog.  Penny hated that she became _this_ girl.  The one who felt her heart skip a beat when she saw him on screen.  The one who found herself thinking about him for no reason in the middle of the day. The one who wanted nothing more than to be in the same room as him. These were emotions she was taught to suppress in her ELE training.  Besides, having feelings for someone who could clearly never make it into the ELE could get complicated and messy.

 

But as soon as DeadNotSleeping asked him about _her_ , she knew she was going to have to give up everything she’d worked for her entire life.  For _him_.

 

-

 

The more she thought about it, the more it sucked that people didn’t have a place to live.  It could get cold out there.  And the alley she was standing in smelled like rotten fruit.  Without Bad Horse, she could have been one of these homeless people, following her dream of becoming a painter.  Well, her not-evil dream.  Of course, her evil dream was to become Bad Horse’s secretary.

 

Painting wouldn’t be so bad.  Minus the homeless stuff.  She’d heard all her life that people in the arts would get the short end of the stick.  Being evil was recession-proof, apparently.  Like a doctor or a teacher or something else benevolent and profitable.

 

And now she was getting off track.  Penny extended her arm, half-heartedly distributing information about the shelter.  The last time she did this, she ended up with a face full of garbage after being pushed by Captain Hammer.  She glanced at her watch.  It was only three more hours until their date. 

 

It could be a sort of undercover mission, she told herself.  Gathering intel and learning about the enemy could gain her some major status points.  But there was nothing about Captain Hammer she found appealing.  She considered going home early and canceling the date…

 

And then she saw Billy again.

 

He was sitting on a bench across the way, playing with his phone again.  She wanted so badly to talk to him about the struggle between good and evil, to recruit him for the ELE once and for all, or to ask what a life of being a good human being was like.  Instead, she settled for chit chat.

 

“Fancy meeting you here.”

 

Billy looked up from his phone.  “Oh.  Hi.  Hello.  Are you… doing more work for the homeless shelter?”

 

“Uh huh.  We’re still kind of far away from the signatures goal, so I’m working extra hard to find some people I haven’t bothered with the pitch yet.”

 

“I admire your dedication.  Heard you had a run-in the other day.  It’s scary out here.  At least for someone who is apparently a van magnet.”

 

Penny smiled.  His attempts at hiding his identity were so adorable.  “Well, I’m like the Postal Service.  Rain or shine, I’m here.”

 

Billy put his phone on the arm of the bench. “Pretty sure the Postal Service doesn’t date Captain Hammer.” The tone in his voice shifted to one of disgust.

 

“The Postal Service is dating Captain Hammer?”

 

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt.  “It’s… not the greatest segue, I admit.  What else do you do in your spare time? You date superheroes, help the homeless… do you save kittens too?”

 

“I’m allergic to cats.  I train service dogs.  But only until they stop being puppies.  Because that’s when they actually have to learn how to do stuff, and that’s when they stop being fun.”

 

He laughed, and they sat in a semi-uncomfortable silence for a few moments before his phone buzzed against the wood on the bench. He mumbled some excuse about doing somewhere, or doing something, and left with a promise to see her the next time they did laundry.

 

-

 

There was something about dating Captain Hammer that felt rebellious to her.  It was like she had her typical TV moment, with the boyfriend her parents wouldn’t approve of.  But she really wanted to spend time with Billy.  The more Captain Hammer flexed his muscles for her, the less interested she was.  She liked a guy with an evil swagger, but not too much.  She liked a hint of modesty in there.  Like he was only as good as his last evil deed.

 

And besides, he was the worst superhero alive.  It was like dating a righteous version of her high school crush, Razor Rick.  If only he weren’t swinging the other way (in the good versus evil category, that is), he would be perfect for the ELE. 

 

And this whole… Billy-slash-Dr. Horrible thing was getting confusing.  She’d seen _Grease_ enough times to know that changing for someone was complicated.  Of course, she could just tell him that she was evil.  He obviously seemed to think that would impress her.  It would, of course, but the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that she never really had a choice to fully commit to the evil life.  It was like he converted, and she’d been born into it.  Was this really for her?

 

“Sorry about the whole, leaving-my-clothes-and-running thing the other day.” He handed her a frozen yogurt and a spork.  “I just… new people freak me out sometimes, and Captain Hammer is kind of…”

 

“He has a presence.” She removed the plastic cover from her cup of yogurt.

 

“That’s… one way to put it, sure.  I was going to say he was a tool, but that also works.”

 

“You really don’t like him, do you?”

 

Billy sighed.  “I have my reasons, I guess.  You seem to like him, but… I don’t know, I’m getting vibes.  And when I get vibes, that’s not a good thing.”

 

“What are you, a tarot card reader?”

 

“No… but I am a person who follows his gut.”

 

Penny pulled some quarters out of the roll she had in the pocket of her jeans.  “What’s your gut say on this one?”

 

He didn’t say anything.  She turned around after selecting the proper settings on the dryer, and leaned against the machine as she waited for an answer from him.  More silence.  She sat down next to him and gently placed her hand on his knee.  This was her shot.  She had so much she wanted to ask him.  _Are you really evil, or is this a phase? How committed are you to getting in to the League? What is being good really like?_

 

A familiar tone chimed on his phone, and his eyes widened.  He quickly darted out the door to take the call, ignoring the frozen yogurt and the spork that hit the floor on his way out.

 

She sighed and grabbed the napkins from the paper bag that sat on the nearby washer.  As she scooped down to clean up his mess, she wondered if she’d ever find out what was going on.

 

-

 

She’d had a couple of drinks the night before, so she texted him.  _Hey, meet me at the Laundromat tomorrow, 6pm. Ran out of socks and need company while I wash. Long story, haha._ It was like a booty call, only with fabric softener and dryer sheets. 

 

What she really wanted, though, was answers.  She wanted to tell him everything.  Admit who she truly was.  Offer to team up with him, or put in a good word for him with Bad Horse.  Granted, it wasn’t like she had any contact with the Thoroughbred of Sin himself, since her biggest pipe dream was to be his secretary.  But it was the thought that counted.

 

So, of course, she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t show at the Laundromat the next day.

 

Halfway through her third fake spin cycle, she dug into his unclaimed frozen yogurt.  Penny wasn’t sure how to handle this.  This was uncharted territory.  Every guy she’d ever dated was so sure of his place in the world.  Billy was still trying to figure his out.  And part of her wanted to explore that side of her existence like he did for himself. 

 

Penny heard a familiar scratchy thunk in the dryer and jumped up.  She’d forgotten to empty the change in her pockets again.  After all these weeks getting to know Billy and picking up some of his quirks and habits, she still couldn’t seem to remember to pull her pockets inside out before tossing her pants into the wash like he so methodically did.

 

She wanted to learn all of his quirks and habits.  Good and evil, laundry related and otherwise.

 

-

 

She crouched down on the floor behind all the chairs.  Great.  Now the whole world knew about her… escapades with Captain Hammer.  Of course, they’d all been with a Captain Hammer of their own from time to time, she was sure of it.  They all… had needs… just like she did. 

 

But what was confusing her most was Dr. Horrible.  Or, the promise of Dr. Horrible’s appearance.  He hadn’t shown up yet.  Penny slipped on her high heels.  Today was the day she would reveal her true identity to him.  Help him with the proper execution of his Death Ray.  Then they could both be in the League together, and live out the rest of their lives in infamy and terror, just like she’d wanted since she was a little girl.

 

Or at least like she thought she wanted.  They could be good too.  If that’s what he really wanted.

 

Finally, he showed up, shooting his Death Ray around as he prepared to take Captain Hammer down once and for all.  Penny grabbed for the belt on her dress.  Her new uniform would blow Billy… Dr. Horrible… away, she was sure of it. 

 

A searing pain tore through her gut right as she tried to tear off her sweater.  Penny crumbled to the cold, hard linoleum floor.  This wasn’t how she thought things would end.  Time seemed to stand still.  Voices deepened, like in the slow motion scenes on TV.  Everything was blurry, and she was chilly and achy. 

 

Dr. Horrible rushed to her side, his eyes wide with fear as he watched her shake.  She couldn’t really hear what he was saying; nothing made sense and she felt like she was watching from somewhere else.  She could tell that he wasn’t sure where to put his hands, or what to do… this was all new to him.  Penny had seen death and destruction for years; this wasn’t anything foreign to her.  Well, her own demise was a little foreign…

 

What did she learn her first week at school with the ELE? There was something she could do to reject, or… repel, or try to get rid of this giant piece of metal sticking out of her stomach.  Right? There was something… where was the film reel of life moments just before she died when she needed it?

 

“Billy?” She tried her best to stay coherent, to hang on so that she could tell him what she needed to. 

 

He was devastated, she could tell.  This wasn’t for him.  And it wasn’t for her, either.  She could feel the words leaving her lips, and the pull to shut her eyes and let go was getting stronger.  Finally, she made her decision.  Penny took one more shallow breath.  “Captain Hammer will save us.”

 

And everything went black.


End file.
